We want our children to learn from their experiences and to develop increasingly healthy, pro-social behaviour responses. It is therefore important to routinely encourage them (as appropriate in the circumstances) to use ‘The 3 Rs’: to reflect on what happened; to repair any damage (to themselves or others) and to restore (themselves and others) to their previous (or improved) good selves.  

Immediately following 5 minutes missed break time, children will have a reflective discussion with the adult who issued the consequence. Following removal from class and more serious incidents, or a red card, a child will always complete a reflection form and discuss this with an adult (apart from in EYFS where this will be verbal). Where a response to unacceptable behaviour still leaves a lasting impact for that child or for others, it will often be necessary to take formal steps to review how to learn from mistakes and restore relationships. This can include restoring relationships with other children as well as teaching staff or other adults. It also helps the individual(s) concerned to draw a line under the matter and move on. The process can only start when the individual(s) concerned is/are calm and ready to learn from the experience. It may take time and it may be something that an adult will have to come back to over a few hours or even days. The aim is to demonstrate that it is very possible to learn from a negative experience; to work out what went wrong and why; to make amends; and to help avoid it happening in the future. To support children to reflect on their behaviour, adults will use some or all of the prompts below; 

• What (in your words) happened?  

• What do you think the people involved were thinking and feeling at the time?  

• Who has been affected and how?  

• How can we put right the harm?  

• What have we learned to make a different choice next time? (Next time I will...)  

• What would you like to happen next?  

• How can we make things better for _______?  

• If everything was going to be OK, what would need to happen?  

• How can you help to put this right?  

• How can we make it OK for you to go back to your lessons/activities/friends?  

• What do you think ________ might need?